The Trumpster Fire (2-24-17)

Liveblogging the Trump presidency, one catastrophe at a time.

James pointed out yesterday that one nice feature of the Trumpster Fire files is that when we finally get Trump out of office, I can just collect them all together and send them off to whomever takes over next, with a note that reads, “Here’s your to-do list: Fix all this!” Continue reading The Trumpster Fire (2-24-17)

Friday Tunes: ‘Ex’s & Oh’s,’ Elle King

“Ex’s & Oh’s” is a song recorded by American singer and songwriter Elle King for her debut studio album, Love Stuff (2015). Tanner Elle Schneider, known professionally as Elle King, is an American singer, songwriter, and actress. Her musical style encompasses country, soul, rock and blues. She is the daughter of comedian Rob Schneider and former model London King. (Wikipedia: 1, 2)

It’s cold and gray and raining, and I’m feeling depressed and a bit despairing after a long week of horrible news wherein the only bright spot was that NASA found us some new planets we might escape to. Except they’ll probably be defunded, so no arks for us, one imagines.

One of the best antidotes for this state of mind is a stupid funny upbeat song, and so, “Ex’s & Oh’s” it is. Continue reading Friday Tunes: ‘Ex’s & Oh’s,’ Elle King

Mensez is a stupid, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea.

So, apparently this is a thing:

Mensez is a new, natural approach to feminine health. Mensez is a proprietary combination of amino acids and natural oils in a lipstick applicator. When applied to the labia minora, it creates a temporary seal to retain menstrual fluids inside until urination. The urine instantly releases the seal and everything washes away into the toilet. It’s safe and secure for the user. Mensez is based on the theory that modern bathing habits, while helpful in most respects, wash away some protective bodily compounds that previously helped control menses (as discharge from the uterus at menstruation is known). Mensez is simply a natural replacement for those compounds.

Many women (and probably other vagina-havers) on the Internet have had things to say about this idea.

First off, the dude who invented this – obviously it was a dude – is a chiropractor. Chiropractors are barely doctors to begin with and are quacks like 95% of the time anyway, and even if that weren’t true, they still wouldn’t have any particular expertise when it comes to vaginas.

Secondly, do not glue your pink bits shut. Okay? I’m not a doctor, and outside of owning one I don’t have any particular expertise when it comes to vaginas either, but I can absolutely guarantee you that gluing your bits shut is not a good plan.

Thirdly, you excrete urea, the compound in your urine that this “Mensez” crap reacts to, in your sweat. So this product isn’t even going to work right. Also, has this guy ever even seen a vagina? It’s not like labia minora are smooth surfaces. You’d be down there with this lipstick thing like a carpenter with a trowel full of spackle, trying to get a seal. JFC.

Fourthly, do not spackle your labia minora shut. Holy crap, that cannot possibly be a good idea.

Fifthly (is “fifthly” a word?), there are about a dozen different products on the market right now for dealing with periods. If you don’t like pads or tampons, try something else. You have many other healthy, safe options for period logistics.

Sixthly, and I cannot stress this enough, do not. glue. your junk. shut. Good lord, what if it didn’t come apart again and you had to go to the hospital? Then you’d have to explain to actual experts in human biology how stupid you are, out loud, in a room full of people, and when they recorded it on their phone and uploaded it to YouTube, you’d absolutely have it coming.

Seventhly, and finally, if you see this Dr. Daniel Dopps in the wild, feel free to give him such a pinch. God what a dumb idea.

The Trumpster Fire (2-22-17)

Liveblogging the Trump presidency, one catastrophe at a time.

It’s looking like today’s big story might be Scott Pruitt’s emails. Pruitt is Trump’s recently-confirmed pick for head of the EPA and some 6,000 of his emails just became public property. They are not reassuring. It is early hours, though, and these are the Trump years, so don’t be surprised if some other dramatic catastrophe arises. Continue reading The Trumpster Fire (2-22-17)