Friday Tunes: ‘Ex’s & Oh’s,’ Elle King

“Ex’s & Oh’s” is a song recorded by American singer and songwriter Elle King for her debut studio album, Love Stuff (2015). Tanner Elle Schneider, known professionally as Elle King, is an American singer, songwriter, and actress. Her musical style encompasses country, soul, rock and blues. She is the daughter of comedian Rob Schneider and former model London King. (Wikipedia: 1, 2)

It’s cold and gray and raining, and I’m feeling depressed and a bit despairing after a long week of horrible news wherein the only bright spot was that NASA found us some new planets we might escape to. Except they’ll probably be defunded, so no arks for us, one imagines.

One of the best antidotes for this state of mind is a stupid funny upbeat song, and so, “Ex’s & Oh’s” it is. Continue reading Friday Tunes: ‘Ex’s & Oh’s,’ Elle King

Mensez is a stupid, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea.

So, apparently this is a thing:

Mensez is a new, natural approach to feminine health. Mensez is a proprietary combination of amino acids and natural oils in a lipstick applicator. When applied to the labia minora, it creates a temporary seal to retain menstrual fluids inside until urination. The urine instantly releases the seal and everything washes away into the toilet. It’s safe and secure for the user. Mensez is based on the theory that modern bathing habits, while helpful in most respects, wash away some protective bodily compounds that previously helped control menses (as discharge from the uterus at menstruation is known). Mensez is simply a natural replacement for those compounds.

Many women (and probably other vagina-havers) on the Internet have had things to say about this idea.

First off, the dude who invented this – obviously it was a dude – is a chiropractor. Chiropractors are barely doctors to begin with and are quacks like 95% of the time anyway, and even if that weren’t true, they still wouldn’t have any particular expertise when it comes to vaginas.

Secondly, do not glue your pink bits shut. Okay? I’m not a doctor, and outside of owning one I don’t have any particular expertise when it comes to vaginas either, but I can absolutely guarantee you that gluing your bits shut is not a good plan.

Thirdly, you excrete urea, the compound in your urine that this “Mensez” crap reacts to, in your sweat. So this product isn’t even going to work right. Also, has this guy ever even seen a vagina? It’s not like labia minora are smooth surfaces. You’d be down there with this lipstick thing like a carpenter with a trowel full of spackle, trying to get a seal. JFC.

Fourthly, do not spackle your labia minora shut. Holy crap, that cannot possibly be a good idea.

Fifthly (is “fifthly” a word?), there are about a dozen different products on the market right now for dealing with periods. If you don’t like pads or tampons, try something else. You have many other healthy, safe options for period logistics.

Sixthly, and I cannot stress this enough, do not. glue. your junk. shut. Good lord, what if it didn’t come apart again and you had to go to the hospital? Then you’d have to explain to actual experts in human biology how stupid you are, out loud, in a room full of people, and when they recorded it on their phone and uploaded it to YouTube, you’d absolutely have it coming.

Seventhly, and finally, if you see this Dr. Daniel Dopps in the wild, feel free to give him such a pinch. God what a dumb idea.

A Jazz Update

Poor Jazz is so tired. She’s had a very stressful day. It started out great, being a Saturday and all, but then there was a vet visit, and that’s always an epic Greek tragedy, as far as she’s concerned.

Jazz had to go have her tumor checked. As you can see from the photo up there, Jazz has a simply massive tumor, a malignant sarcoma. The scale is a bit skewed in the photo, so just for reference, that thing is easily the size of a healthy cantaloupe, definitely bigger than her rib cage.

We took her in for a check-up because there’s a new raw spot on the tumor, like it’s getting ready to break open, and also because we thought we’d found a second tumor under her left leg, on her tummy.

The vet’s reaction was, as Jim described it on Facebook earlier, “Whoa, how is she still alive? Neat!” The vet took a bunch of pictures of Jazz because she didn’t think her colleagues would believe her when she told them about it.

So, Jazz has been growing this thing for about four years now. When we first discovered her tumor, back when it was still quite small, we took her to the vet (same clinic, different veterinarian than now) to have it checked, and the vet said she thought it was just a fatty tissue tumor, nothing to worry about. By the time we were worried about it, it was too late to do anything. It was an unfortunate case of there being too much tumor and not enough dog, complicated by the fact that the tumor was too well supplied with blood to be easy to remove, or even debulk.

Our current vet didn’t think that Jazz had a second tumor. She thought the odd bump we had had found was probably just a fat pad. It might be a tumor, or maybe a swollen lymph node, but she said it didn’t feel like a hard mass.

The vet also confirmed that there wasn’t a lot we could do about the reddened spot we’d noticed, that the tumor probably would break open, and probably sooner rather than later. She said that she’d had some success at getting splits like that to heal closed again, but they inevitably reopen, so it’s likely that when the tumor finally pops open and infection sets in that Jazz will unfortunately be out of time.

In the meantime, Jazz is doing bizarrely well. She’s otherwise healthy, she’s happy, and she’s in no particular discomfort that we’ve noticed. She’s still playful and has a great appetite, which blows our vet’s mind. Blows our mind too, to be honest. I mean, she’s like 25% cancer at this point, and still pretty frisky for a 13-year-old dog.

At any rate, that’s the update on Jazz. She has a ridiculous amount of cancer and is still weirdly healthy, and we hope she carries on that way for awhile yet.

Friday Tunes: ‘Blank Space,’ Taylor Swift

“Blank Space” is a song by American singer-songwriter Taylor Swift from her fifth studio album 1989 (2014). It reached number one on the US Billboard Hot 100 following “Shake It Off.” Swift became the first woman in the Hot 100’s 56-year history to succeed herself at the top spot. The song’s accompanying music video was directed by Joseph Kahn and was shot over three days at Oheka Castle in Huntington, New York. (Wikipedia)

Y’know, Taylor Swift catches a lot of hell, but I loved this song. Probably because it was practically the theme song for at least a dozen different waitresses I’ve known over the years.

Good lord, what a week, eh? It did have some bright spots, though. We had a nice Valentine’s dinner with Jim’s sister and went for a pokéwalk the next day, and we got an excellent episode of Arrow and Supernatural this week. I mean, you have to take your wins where you get ’em. Continue reading Friday Tunes: ‘Blank Space,’ Taylor Swift

Here’s a bright spot in your day: Hundreds of scientists & science fans just saved a crapton of govt data.

Look, I’m gonna be honest with you guys. Today’s probably going to be just the biggest mess, news-wise. Brace yourselves.

But, there’s a bright spot! Scientists around the country have been clocking hella overtime to save NASA’s earth science data – and other climate data – before the Trump administration can make it all disappear, and they have succeeded!

Diehard Coders Just Rescued NASA’s Earth Science Data
“On Saturday morning, the white stone buildings on UC Berkeley’s campus radiated with unfiltered sunshine. The sky was blue, the campanile was chiming. But instead of enjoying the beautiful day, 200 adults had willingly sardined themselves into a fluorescent-lit room in the bowels of Doe Library to rescue federal climate data.”

Groups around the country assisted, plus built all kinds of applications to track data changes on government websites and keep track of stuff that was already “disappeared” by the Trump administration, because yes, they totally were already doing that.

It’s actions like these that give me hope. In the face of the horror show that is the Trump administration and the GOP in Congress, Americans are pulling together to fight back, rescue the tools we’ll need to recover from this administration, and stop them in their tracks. Journalists are digging in and breaking news daily, making it harder and harder for the GOP to remain silent against Trump.

Days like yesterday, when the news cycle is wall-to-wall drama and fuckery, can make you feel hopeless. It can drown you in garbage until you think that there can’t possibly be any way forward. That is not true. We’re fighting back, and we’re winning some of these fights.

Dawn is coming, people. Stay tough. Stay mad. Resist.