Monday, November 7, 2016, 8:00am

Tomorrow is Election Day, thank whatever.

I could talk about Doctor Strange, which I saw this weekend and was awesome, but maybe I’ll do that later in the week. For now I’ll just say it was a great movie and you should go see it.

I could talk about last night’s Westworld, which might have been the creepiest episode yet, but I might actually have to watch the episode a second time before I have anything to say about it. I had to watch it while braced for jumpscares the whole time, so I probably missed something. I did note that Gunslinger Easter egg, though. That was pretty cool.

Instead, considering that tomorrow is the last day of Electmageddon 2016, we’ll probably have to talk politics.

Let’s start with the “assassination attempt” on Donald Trump this weekend.

A Secret Service spokesperson said in a statement there was a commotion in the crowd and an “unidentified individual” shouted “gun,” though no weapon was found after a “thorough search.”

Trump was onstage, blathering away as he does. Somebody yelled “gun” and the Secret Service charged in and ran Trump off the stage. Apparently there was a protester in the audience and the crowd turned on him and assaulted him, and at some point during the assault, someone shouted about a gun.

There was no gun. Was there hyperbole? Oh, of course there was. The Trump campaign made a talking point of how tough Trump was, because he survived an “assassination attempt.” I’ve been rolling my eyes at this so hard that they actually hurt. Like, I didn’t even know that was a thing that could happen.

Let’s take a quick pause and think good thoughts at Trump’s Secret Service guys. I bet those guys are keeping Maalox and Jim Beam in business right now.

The other fun Trump thing that happened was his campaign staff wrestling him to the ground off camera and taking his Twitter account away from him so he couldn’t step on his dick one more time before tomorrow. Okay, okay, I don’t know if they actually wrestled him down. I just feel like they probably had to. And I don’t know if that’s going to stop Trump from issuing one more big screw-up before Election Day. I mean, he’s due and I have faith. He can do it.

The other big weekend news was FBI Director James Comey, again. Of course. He sent another letter to Congress this weekend just to let everyone know that those new emails that didn’t mean anything didn’t actually mean anything. We knew that. Thanks for sticking your Weiner in the election, Comey. We all appreciate it.

One bonus to Comey’s letter is that the stock markets actually improved this morning as polls leaned Clintonwards again with the news.

Meanwhile, the Justice Department is sending folks out to watch the elections. Not as many as they used to, or even as many as they sent last time around, though. That’s because we struck down parts of the Voting Rights Act a few years ago. Y’know. Because we don’t have any problems with voter disenfranchisement anymore.

More News

Reading List

Daily Cute

But wait, where do I comment? No comments, sorry. Talk to me on Facebook or Twitter, instead.

You may also like...