Monday, September 26, 2016, 8:00am

2016 Debates: Hillary Clinton vs. Donald Trump #1

2016 Debates: Hillary Clinton vs. Donald Trump #1

Donald Trump, left; Hillary Clinton, right. (Source & Credits.)

I realize that it seems like most of us have already made up their minds, but there is a significant contingent of folks out there who are still on the fence. You can tell that just by watching how the poll numbers swing whenever one candidate or the other is having a day.

So I’m talking to those folks who haven’t yet made up their minds, or the people who plan on having a “protest vote” for the two running for the Libertarians and the Greens.

Please, please, please, for the love of puppies with hearts on them, do not let Donald Trump become president. That man is actively insane. He’s a congenital liar. A con man. A narcissistic boob. A hateful racist who briefly thought women should be punished with jail for abortions, then he didn’t, then he probably did again. It doesn’t really matter what he thinks, because he doesn’t think much of anything. He’s just trying to tell you what you want to hear.

I know some of you are Republicans, and you’re all “Party loyalty!” and whatnot, and I get it. Everyone wants to root for their team. But this man is about as Republican as I am. He wants only one thing: to make himself feel big and important. This isn’t even about the money he’s going to make himself, for Trump. I mean, you could at least sort of respect that. This man is only feeding his ego. He doesn’t care about you.

I know a lot of you don’t like Hillary Clinton. I get it. I go back and forth on her, too. Like, sometimes she’s awesome, and other times she’s kind of not. But that’s okay, because she’s not going to destroy the world. Which sounds hyperbolic, I know, but trust me, that Trump dude is gonna screw us all so hard we’ll walk funny for decades after the fact.

And look, Hillary’s not the devil. I don’t agree with everything she’s ever said, but I do know that most of the worst things you might think about her are the direct result of Republicans dragging her relentlessly over the coals for several decades and the media playing along because hey, they got ad time to sell, y’all, and the only things that sell better than crapping on Hillary Clinton are tits and blood.

I know a lot of you don’t want to vote for either of these two because you’re mad at the system, and believe me, I get that, too. The system blows in a lot of ways, but it is not irretrievably broken. And even if it were, your protest vote is only handing the race over to Trump at this point. Even if Hillary is too moderate for you, she’s still going to try to shove things in the right direction for us. Trump just wants to nuke it from orbit. His fallout will poison us for generations.

We’ve got a debate tonight, the first debate. The expectations are wildly out of whack. Trump, a man who couldn’t tell you the truth if you had a gun to his head, basically just has to not literally crap himself on stage to come out of this looking good. Hillary, on the other hand, will have to bring about the Second Coming, judging by what I’m hearing folks say. This is insane.

Trump cannot articulate one single plan to accomplish anything. He doesn’t have plans. He has a song and dance. Hillary, on the other hand, has all of the plans, and understands the challenges we’ll be facing far better than you or I are ever going to. She’s smart, and she knows how to get shit done. Let the woman work. I promise, it’ll be alright. She knows what she’s doing.

Here’s some resources to have on hand as you head into the debates tonight.

Here’s some things to read to get ready for tonight.

Updated with more resources and things to read.

Updated with more stuff to read and check out.

But wait, where do I comment? No comments, sorry. Talk to me on Facebook or Twitter, instead.

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