New Black Panther trailer! This movie looks like it’s gonna be so good, you guys.
Also, was that one villain in the mask meant to be Cheshire, or is that someone else? Never mind, I’m dumb. Cheshire is DC.
5 Things to Read Today (10/16/17)
- CNN: #MeToo: Social media flooded with personal stories of assault
- BuzzFeed News: Trump Given A Subpoena For All Documents Relating To Assault Allegations
- New York Magazine: Trump Keeps Getting Mad When He Finds Out What His Policies Actually Do
- Washington Post: Inside the ‘adult day-care center’: How aides try to control and coerce Trump
- Southern Poverty Law Center: SPLC on Campus: A guide to bystander intervention
I actually had to think a minute before I tweeted my #MeToo because the trash a woman deals with in day-to-day life is so common that at first I was like “Nah, I’ve never dealt with that.” Then I was like, no, wait a minute, I worked in restaurants for 15 years, I dealt with garden variety sexual harassment nearly every day. (I mean, sometimes I had the day off.) Guys grabbing things they shouldn’t be grabbing, guys discussing the merits of your tits out loud like it’s just a cool thing to do, guys who screw something up and when you get mad at them for it they blame it on your period, all that everyday crap.
I thought, well, I’ve never been assaulted. Then I remembered I’ve been grabbed and groped on numerous occasions, and that’s assault. Also, I remembered that I used to date.
I remember one date out with a guy, back when I was in college the first time. The date had gone about as well as first dates ever do, and on the way home, the guy tried to grab my junk. He was driving me home, and he put his hand on my thigh and started sliding it upwards. I put a hand over his, which is the universal signal for “Knock that shit off, man,” and he tried to force pass my hand, so I put my other hand down on his and leaned, to hold his hand where it was, most of the way up my thigh.
I remember thinking, “Okay, I’m about ten miles from home, if I have to, I can walk from here. He’s gonna have to slow down up here, so I can jump out if things get any sketchier.” Meanwhile, I’m leaning with both hands and all my weight on his hand to hold it still and finally I snap a glare at him – he was glaring back at me, like, “What’s your problem?” – and I said, “Dude.” He finally pulled his hand away, shooting me glares the rest of the way back to my house.
That’s when I stopped letting guys drive on dates.
I remember another date with another guy. I drove this time. Things were not going well and the date was dragging on and I was trying to be polite. Finally I noticed the time and I was like, “Well, we need to go because I have a curfew.” I had to drive him back to his car and from there I had to drive home, so I was in a bit of a time crunch. I’m driving 90 down the highway and he decided that it was a great time to start making out with me. I disagreed. So he’s got his tongue in my ear, literally, and I’m trying to shove him off me. Finally I’m like “I am driving here,” and shoved him away, and he knocked it off and sulked all the way back to his car.
And that’s basically when I stopped dating. I’m pretty sure I can count the number of dates I went on after that on one hand.
This is just the everyday entitlement from men that women deal with, nothing “serious,” or scary. (Well, that first one was scary. He got pretty mad and that was upsetting. I think that was the first time I was ever concerned about a guy I was with and how things were going to play out.) These two guys felt entitled to grab and grope and stick their tongue on me without even so much as asking first, felt entitled to continue doing so after I made it clear that I didn’t want them to do that. This crap was so common and ordinary that I didn’t even bother telling anyone about it, except as a humorous “Can you believe this asshole?” story.
It’s everyday, people. Every woman. It’s so common most of it barely even registers for me anymore. No one, no man, no woman, no one, should have to live so that this kind of bullshit is ordinary.