Monday, September 12, 2016, 8:58pm

Seriously, though. Where’s my update at?

Pokemon GO

First, and most importantly, where is my Pokemon GO update? I need my Buddy Pokemon! I’m doing all this walking with no Buddy. C’mon, people!

In today’s news, sugar is hella bad for you. So bad. Super bad. Don’t eat that shit, it’s poison.

Over the weekend we found out Hillary Clinton has pneumonia. This is apparently the END OF THE WORLD or some such. This is ridiculous. Everyone gets pneumonia. It’s common. She had a mild case of it, she got on antibiotics, she probably wasn’t spreading plague all over hell and back. Settle down, people, it’s just pneumonia.

There’s a whole subsection of crazy out there who are very invested in Clinton’s health. As in, they’re convinced she’s keeping secret some terrible disease or condition that renders her unfit to serve. This is bullshit. Please don’t listen to the crazy, it only encourages them.

In other Hillary Clinton news, she called out Trump’s racist, hatemonger supporters over the weekend, and everyone lost their damnfool minds.

“You know, just to be grossly generalist, you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables. The racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic — you name it. And unfortunately there are people like that. And he has lifted them up.” – Hillary Clinton

This is what you call “a fact,” people, and honestly, I think she’s being generous. I’d have said it was way more than half, myself.

Also, Clinton makes one remark, and everyone loses their mind. Meanwhile, Trump can barely get through a whole sentence without saying something racist and/or stupid, and everyone’s all, “Ladidah, whatever, that’s just Trump.Pfft.

Okay, enough stupid politics. Let’s talk about fun stuff, instead. Here’s our first look at Agents of SHIELD‘s Ghost Rider! Looks a lil’ corny, but I blame Photoshop.

Meanwhile, Ryan Potter wants to play Robin in Ben Affleck’s upcoming Batman movie so bad he made a fight audition video about it. And it’s awesome.

I vote yes. Let’s have this guy play Robin with Ben Affleck’s Batman. The DC Murderverse could use a little Tim Drake/Robin-style levity, and this guy looks like he’d do a fantastic job.

Hey, here’s a thing: the ACLU is trying to get Edward Snowden pardoned. I support this plan. The dude blows the whistle on a massive government overreach in collecting the data of private citizens, then has to run away to Russia of all the damn places to escape persecution? That’s ridiculous, and an embarrassment. Shame on us.

To wrap things up, here’s a baby elephant getting scritches. It’s adorable.

But wait, where do I comment? No comments, sorry. Talk to me on Facebook or Twitter, instead.

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